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Happiness Happens

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  2. 225: Become Less Stressed and Get Out of the Dopamine Trap with Mark Congdon

Mar 26, 2024

In a world where the pursuit of happiness seems to be the ultimate goal, have you ever stopped to consider what happiness truly means to you? How can we find joy amidst the struggles and challenges of everyday life? These are the questions that Mark Congdon and I dive into in this episode.

 

Mark R. Congdon is the Forbes Books author of The Ideal Life: 7 Steps To Harness Your Stress, Discover Your Purpose, And Achieve Your Goals. He is the founder and CEO of Into the Ideal, an organization helping individuals find their purpose, joy, and the career they deserve. He earned a Master’s in Industrial-Organizational Psychology from the Harvard Extension School and spent 10 years leading operations, sales, and strategic leadership in the transportation logistics industry. 

 

Mark shared his insightful perspective on happiness, drawing from the wisdom of ancient philosophers like Aristotle. He discussed how happiness is not just about feeling good all the time but finding a balance between pleasure and pain while pursuing a meaningful life. He emphasized the importance of embracing the struggle and challenges as essential components of true joy.

 

The conversation then shifted towards the concept of control and how our perception of control can impact our well-being. Mark highlighted the significance of having an internal locus of control, where we focus on what we can control within ourselves rather than external factors. He shared personal anecdotes, including his mother's inspiring journey of taking control of her health in the face of a dire diagnosis.

 

One of the key takeaways from the discussion was the discussion around the dopamine trap, where the pursuit of rewards and goal achievement can lead to addiction. Mark explained how finding a balance between pushing oneself towards goals and experiencing flow states is essential for sustainable happiness. He introduced the concept of "dose 180," a practice that combines positive visualization with a realistic assessment of challenges to better prepare for achieving goals.

 

Mark also shared insights from his recently launched book, "The Ideal Life," which explores his framework for deliberate flow and intentional stress management. The book offers practical tools and exercises to help readers align their long-term ideals with achievable goals, objectives, and tasks, thereby fostering a sense of purpose and joy in daily life.

 

In essence, the path to joy lies in embracing stress, finding a balance between pleasure and pain, and intentionally pursuing goals that align with our ideals. By harnessing the power of deliberate practice and flow states, we can cultivate lasting happiness in our lives.

 

We’ll touch on:

  • 00:00 Intro

  • 01:11 What happiness means to Mark

  • 02:55 The realization that a happy life includes learning how to coexist with stress, fear, worry, etc.

  • 05:09 Why can some people find the purpose in a hard situation versus those who get consumed by it

  • 10:31 How much does our need for control and our stress contributes to our dopamine trap

  • 13:01 How do we get stuck in a dopamine trap, and what is the effect it has on us

  • 16:42 Intentionally pursuing your goals ang pushing yourself out of your comfort zone

  • 17:41 The problem with an emphasis on rewards for goal achievement

  • 21:20 What would you say to someone stuck in the mindset of feeling they just keep facing down impossibility and is exhausted

  • 24:33 What he hopes readers gain from his book

  • 27:50 How to create a little more happiness in your day, every day, starting today

 

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